Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
