There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
