i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
