Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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