Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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