now i know why i became what i already was.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
