Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
