The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
