Why does Corona taste like a burp?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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