I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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