i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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