he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
