She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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