the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
