That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
