Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
