Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
