My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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