tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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