have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
