it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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