the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
