Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
