Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
