Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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