He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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