nut hugger
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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