You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
