ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
