Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
