After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
