His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Randomize
