i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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