I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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