i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
