I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
