All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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