Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
