do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
