I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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