you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
