And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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