nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
