Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
