if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
