Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
is that a dick in a sweater?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
