i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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