Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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