Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
