does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
