his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
