Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
