wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
