I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
