Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just made my gag reflex go away.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
