***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
